Where have all the mavens gone? And what is one of them learning in b-school?

Well, I'll tell you. One of us is off on a fabulous vacation... while the others are slacking and/or going through midterms/finals. Ok, I'm sure the others aren't actually slacking, but my excuse is midterms and Ryin is off on a fabulous international laptopless vacation. I can't imagine going laptopless. In this day. But he did it. He's so crazy!

So on to my second off-topic topic.....

I jotted this down in class yesterday, and I think it's important to know if you want to go to biz school.

1. they call it b-school because in every class, you're going to get a B. It doesn't really matter if you work your tushy off or you really have only a very vague notion what's going on - you're getting a B.

2. when you write papers, always quote the professor's own research. Think about the real biz world - kissing up is vital. Biz school is an incubator for the real thing. Pucker up!

3. it is absolutely vital that you speak up in class and use current buzz words in what you say. if you can pick a fight with something a classmate said, and make one them look mistaken or misinformed (or worse - like they haven't done the assigned readings) you get extra points. Making up your own buzzwords is also highly encouraged - just add an "ized" to any noun to get a verb - and use at will. The WSJ recently did an article (yes, a whole article) on the popularity of the term "bucketize." What is the world coming to?

4. group projects are just like the ones you did in college and high school. you're going to do all the work, and everyone else in your group will try to take credit for it. again, this is valuable practice and very applicable to the real world.

5. midterms are not in the middle. they are a month before finals. this means that this point of the semester is very very exciting. this is also a real-world lesson that you might want to apply when you are managing a project and setting milestones.

6. towards the end of the semester, all the professors start talking about how lucky they are to teach such bright students and how much they enjoy their lives. they do this because:

• a. they are putting us through the wringer with tests and papers and perhaps they feel a little bad for us
  
  
• b. because we're about to do professor evaluations
  
  
• c. I think they also want to convince themselves they are in fact, teaching fine people to go lead fine companies, and not teaching overly ambitious people how to backdate options and create the next wave of accounting scandals. but i tell you, you can look in the eyes of some of my classmates... and you just know.
  
  
• e. all of the above
  

That's right! E is your answer. You get a B!

It's happened at the end of every semester. the profs suddenly give you the work/life balance talk frequently, and tell you how money doesn't matter as much as quality of life. but come on... we're in business school. i mean, if we really thought that, would we be here?

And that's my post for the day.